Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
bring money and cleavage
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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