He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
