dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
