You just made me feel so damn special
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
