so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
