I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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