I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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