nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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