I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
