It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she smelled like a LAN party
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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