Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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