it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
