I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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