Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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