I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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