people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
