So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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