i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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