god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
