i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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