Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
