She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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