ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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