It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
