I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
