We're like a lot better than the average bears
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
