I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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