Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
