News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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