Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
