So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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