I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
