How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
