Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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