WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
