I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
