how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
