i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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