Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
