dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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