If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
