i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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