Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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