I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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