your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
