maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
