guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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