Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
