Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
