I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
