I want to walk on stilts...naked
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
