I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
