You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
