Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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